I Wouldn't Mind It
by TurtleLynn
Summary: His father figure broke them. Her "father figure" killed him. She hates them both. Ace joins a pathetic team to get closer to what he was. She wants to make his wish come true. He'd told her, "One day, I'll save you from this life. I'll fix your mind. I'll fix you." But he never got the chance. She sits before his memorial sometimes, looking up at him. Missing him. Loving him.
1. Chapter 1

Have you ever been broken?

Like, completely driven over the edge?

Have you ever lain beside the body of the person you loved?

Crying quietly and begging for them to wake up?

Have you ever tried to give their cold body warmth?

Even when you know they'll remain cold?

Have you ever regretted?

* * *

She huddled against his cold body, laying beside him in the cold cave. She laced her fingers through his bloodied ones and rested her head against his still chest. The Batman and his Nightwing stood near the door, watching her. They knew she wouldn't do anything, but it was a precaution. In a matter of minutes, they'd watched one of Gotham's most well known criminals completely shut down.

 _"Forever is a long time..."_ Her broken voice echoed, cracking as more tears rolled down her face. Nightwing looked off to the side, holding in his own tears.

 _"But I wouldn't mind spending it by your side."_ A sob escaped her chapped lips and she turned her face so it rested against his bruised and bloodied chest. Her whole being quaked with agony as she tried to bury herself further into his side, searching for a sign of life.

 _"Tell me everyday I get to wake up to that smile. I wouldn't mind it, at all."_

Her body was pulled away from his and she let it happen, leaning against Nightwing's chest and sobbing quietly. She fisted her gloved hand in the fabric of suit, and she felt him squeeze her gently.

 _"I wouldn't mind it...at all."_

* * *

 _ **Dear Batman,**_

 _ **M**_ _ **y name is Samantha Kathrine Elliot. I am 15 years old, and I was diagnosed with depression at the age of 9. My parents had died a few days after I was born, resulting in me being put under my Aunt's care. By the time I was diagnosed, she had gone insane. Although I was raised from the age of 1 by The Joker and his Harley Quinn, I never truly was insane. I was just...me**_

 _ **I killed my first person when I was 7. I think that's when my depression started. I had been so ecstatic to please my Aunt, and then she let me watch the family of the man I killed cry over him. I realized then that I had killed someone. Taken a life. When I stopped functioning, Harley took me to a doctor. She gave me the prescribed medicine until I was moving and eating again, and then she stopped. I fell back into my depression and soon took to self mutilation. My thighs, wrists, forearms, shoulders, stomach, and hips became a sheet of paper.**_

 _ **When I was 13, I met Jason Todd. Well, originally I met Robin, but after a few months I met Jason Todd. He was the best thing that ever happened to me. We started dating not long after, doing our best to keep it a secret from you. But you're Batman. You know everything. He found out about my depression and my problem. He cried in front of me for the first time that night. He kissed every scar and cut he could reach and made me promise to never do it again. I agreed, as long as he promised to stay with me.**_

 _ **Jason came to me a month after our 1 year anniversary and told me you knew. He told me we couldn't see each other anymore, or else you would take away his title as Robin. I relapsed that night. I don't know if you noticed or not, but I didn't commit any crimes after that. I laid in my apartment in a new puddle of blood every night, thinking about all of the ways to kill you.**_

 _ **And then it happened. Jason died. Harley had called me out that night, telling me to come watch as Joker "broke the bat". I suited up almost immediately. If only Harley had known she would break me too. She made me watch as he was beaten, and then when it was time to go Joker's thugs grabbed me. I was too weak to fight back. And you know what Jason mouthed to me as they dragged me out of the building? Do you? He told me he loved me. He loved me Batman, and you broke us up.**_

 _ **The love of my life is dead. Your son is dead. We lost the same person. Does it hurt?**_

 _ **-Never yours, Ace September 24, 2014  
**_


	2. Chapter 2

You know how when it rains?

And like, everything just seems so quiet?

No thunder or lightning?

Just rain?

Or when the sky is dark?

And it reminds you of your mind?

* * *

Maybe it was the way the rain that made the day survivable. Maybe it was the hand in her own. She couldn't really tell. The rain that ran down her blonde locks was hardly noticeable to her mile a minute mind. Watching his coffin get lowered into the ground was slowly tearing apart her insides, taking with it all of her feelings. She was still weak from weeks of neglecting her needs, but she needed to be here. For him.

She clutched the hand in her own tightly as his coffin was covered with the wet soil, shaking her head slowly.

"Make him come back, Aria." She whispered, gripping the older girl's sleeve. "I would Sam. But I can't bring back the dead." She choked on a sob and clung to the older girl, not wanting to look anymore. "Let's go inside, Hun." The older girl picked the younger up and carried her up to one of the spare rooms, setting her on the bed and then leaving quietly. Sam pulled a journal from her coat and began writing.

Writing was something she did when she was upset. The book was covered in stains of all different colors, and her tears were adding to them again. She wrote down everything that came to mind, making a desperate attempt to keep herself together. Somehow she went from her feelings, to writing to him. Maybe it would help.

She poured her feelings out to him, her body shaking. Her writing was hardly eligible, but she felt like she needed this. Her cries for him had stopped making noise a while ago, now only being small gasps and the occasional murmur of his name. Her lips were chapped from keeping her mouth open for so long, struggling to get enough air. Multiple tears had been made by her pencil in the paper but she kept going, soon running out of tears to cry.

She squeezed her eyes shut and grit her teeth as the images from a few days ago flashed in her mind. She hadn't slept in days, the nightmares always being the same. He'd come back, blue-green eyes blazing with fury and guns in his hands. _"Why didn't you save me?"_ He would ask her, and before she could anser he'd put a bullet in her head.

The book made a dull thud as it hit the wall across the room. She tugged at her hair, leaning back into the bed and screaming into the pillow. Her breath was raspy and it hurt just to think. She cuddled a pillow to her chest much like she used to do to his arm, and then her eyes slid shut. Her mind didn't give her a chance for peace though. It tormented her as she slept, making her toss and turn until finally she just stopped moving. Her fatigue had finally kicked in and her mind shut down. She wasn't truly sleeping now. Just kind of, breathing. Laying in a sense of darkness.

* * *

 ** _Dear Jason,_**

 ** _This sucks. I hate you so much right now. I hate myself right now. I hate everything and everyone. How did you even get caught? Did you let your ego out? Were you distracted? Did I do something? Was it my fault? It was, wasn't it. I swear, if I could switch places with you I would. I've never wanted to be dead more than now. I want to be with you. I forgive you for what you did, I know being Robin is important to you and I'd never hold something like that against you._**

 ** _I miss you. I've missed you the entire time we weren't together. And I love you. I've been thinking a lot, and I've decided that maybe I'm not cut out for being a villain. I'm going to try to be a hero like you want me to. I'll try and change for you. I'll take my medication, I'll go see my therapist, I'll get away from Harley. But will you come back? Will you come back and let me hold your hand? Will you still love me?_**

 ** _I guess neither of us really kept our promise. I promised I'd never cut, and you promised you'd stay with me forever. We both broke our promises. In all honesty, I think this is Bruce's fault. He told you to break up with me, which in turn set my brain into overdrive and caused my relapse. Because of my relapse, I was too weak to help you when I was dragged away._**

 ** _This means its my fault. If I had just been strong enough to fight the urges I could've saved you. This is all my fault. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I'll find some way to make this up to you. I'll do whatever it takes. I'll be the hero you were never given the chance to be._**

 ** _-All My Love, Sam September 27, 2014  
_**


	3. Chapter 3

Maybe it was the way he spoke to her?

Or way his hair tickled her cheeks when he kissed her?

Maybe it was the way his laugh made her smile?

Or the way he snickered when she failed?

Maybe it was the way he breathed while he slept?

Or maybe the universe just hated her guts.

* * *

 _January 24, 2014  
_

 _She hummed softly, twirling around the rooftops in her black corset dress, giggling as the skirt fluffed out around her. She stumbled over her feet and hit the rooftop, picking up the laughter of the boy she gave her heart too. Combat boots made contact with the roof top and he walked over, offering her a hand and a smirk. She smiled sheepishly and took his hand, a surprised squeak leaving her mouth as he yanked her to her feet and wrapped his arms around her waist._

 _"Hello beautiful." He playfully growled at her, nipping the tip of her nose. "Robin!" She gasped out, smacking his chest as a large blush claimed her cheeks. He pressed his lips to hers and she smiled, slipping her arms around his neck. When they broke apart he smiled at her, a smile full of love and care. "What are you all dressed up for?" She smiled at him and wiggled her eyebrows. "Today," She started, twirling out of his grip. "Is my birthday."_

 _"Shit." He muttered, running a gloved hand through his hair. "Why didn't you tell me?" She giggled again, twirling around his figure and letting the ends of her dress fan out and hit his ankles. "Because silly, all I need on my birthday is you." She slid her arms around his waist from behind and pressed a kiss to his cheek, leaving a lipstick stain that matched the one on his lips. He hummed and leaned back against her, and the two stared up at the smog in the sky.  
_

 _"When we get older, if we're still together, do you want to move somewhere where we can see the stars?" She whispered to him, meeting his masked eyes when he leaned back to look up at her. "Maybe. We might still be crime fighters. I'll finally have you helping me beat the shit out of people." She laughed loudly, throwing her head back and squeezing her eyes shut. "Or maybe you'll let me die." Her head snapped back up and she stared at him, only to be met with the boy who was blown up._

 _She stumbled away from him, gripping her chest as the sky flashed with blood red lightning. "Jason-" She gasped but he cut her off, a vicious snarl forming on his face. "I told you I loved you and you let me die!" He was in front of her in another flash of lightning, blood running down his figure, suit torn and half his mask missing. he slammed a hand into her throat and used his height to pick her feet up off the ground, holding her against the wall. "Jason please!" She gasped, tears sliding down her face as she clawed at his wrist._

 _"I wanted to..to help you!" He squeezed her throat harder and she attempted to breathe, but no air made it past his hand. "You let me die! Now i get to kill you!"_

 _There was a crack of thunder and the world was illuminated by lightning one more time before something cold was pressed against her temple, and then as his eyes flashed an acid green he-_

* * *

Her eyes flew open and a choked sob left her throat. "Aria!" She cried, her shrill voice echoing through the halls of Wayne manor. "Aria please!" The girl she was called for shoved the door open, ice shards in her hands until she saw she was alone. The shards evaporated and she wrapped the younger girl in her arms, quietly examining the bruises forming on her neck. "What happened Hun?" She murmured, gently petting her hair.

"He hates me!" She cried, burying her face in her hands. The older girl just held her tighter, shooing off Bruce and Dick who stood in the doorway, Tim not far behind them. "He doesn't hate you, Sam. He loves you." She shook her head, sniveling as she sobbed. "Its all my fault." She whispered, shaking as she tried to calm down. "Its all my fault."

* * *

 ** _Dear Jason,_**

 ** _I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry. Its all my fault. If i had been strong enough then maybe I could've saved you but I was too emotional. I was too much of a whiny bitch and I let you die. You told me you loved me and I just let them take me away, I didn't even try. If I could come back and switch places with you, I would. I'd die a thousand times over to let you live. I had a dream where you killed me, at least I think you did. I woke up before I could find out, but you pressed the barrel of a gun to my head. And I'm sorry.  
_**

 ** _I'll find a way to come back and save you. I'll figure out how to put myself in your place. One day, you'll live, and I'll die. We'll switch places and then you can live the rest of your life as a normal, crazy teenage boy. A teenage boy who's obsessed with beating the living crud out of idiots and psychopaths alike. I love you, Jason. I've loved you for as long as I've known you. I'll love you until I take your place. I'll love you forever._**

 ** _-All My Love, Sam October 3, 2014  
_**


	4. Chapter 4

The worst kind of feeling?

Its not feeling at all.

Being so numb to the world that you _cannot feel_.

Having every sliver of any emotion ripped from you.

Watching as your heart is stomped on by your mind.

Its like dying, yet your body won't stop breathing.

* * *

"Are you ready to meet the team Sam?" The hydrokinetic asked her, slipping an arm around her shoulder. Ace simply shrugged while rubbing her hands together, a nervous tick she'd had since she was small. "Do they know I'm an ex-criminal?" She asked in a small voice. "They do." "Do they know why I'm here?"

The silence that followed her question was thick, and Blue had to stopped herself from cringing. "Yes." She finally answered, punching in the coordinates for the cave. "They know that it was one of Jason's final wishes." Ace stopped rubbing her hands and walked into the now prepped tube, emerging on the other side a few seconds later. She barely jumped out of the way of a green fish looking man, firing her grappling gun into the rafters and hiding there.

Blue came through the tube a second later and simply sighed, pulling a small amount of water from her pouch and slightly smacking Lagoon Boy with it. "Hey!" He called, but went silent when he realized who it was. "Sorry, Blue." She glared lightly at him before turning her eyes to the rafters where Ace was still hiding. "You can come down Ace. La'gaan wasn't listen at the meeting because he was too busy making googly eyes at M'gann. He won't attack his _new team member_ again."

The fish boy sputtered as Ace jumped back down from the rafters, landing beside Blue with precision. Her blue eyes were bland of all emotion behind her mask, her entire face neutral. "Hello Lagoon Boy. I hope we can put my past behind us and work as teammates." Before the he could respond, M'gann came through the doorway. "La'ga-," The martian paused, catching sight of her first friend. "Blue!" She exclaimed, wrapping her arms around the older girl in a tight hug. When they pulled away she made eye contact with the younger, sending her a small smile.

"Hello, Ace." Ace returned her greeting with a curt nod, telepathically asking to be shown to a room. M'gann nodded, resting a hand on the young girl's shoulder and leading her away. La'gaan looked from his girlfriend to his part-time mentor in a bewildered fashion. "What just happened?" Blue simply patted his bicep awkwardly before walking back through the zeta tube.

* * *

 _ **Dear Jason,  
**_

 _ **I joined your team today. There's this weird fish guy who attempted to attack me. He failed miserably. I don't know if he was there when you were, but I sincerely hope he wasn't. It's been a while since I last wrote to you. Maybe a little over 3 months? I'm not entirely sure. I'm turning 16 soon, and I intend to spend the day with you. I still can't believe you've been gone for so long. I wish you were never gone in the first place.  
**_

 _ **I've been thinking a lot lately, I've discovered I think more with you gone, and I realized something. I have no purpose without you. I was going to jump off that building the night we met. You unintentionally saved my life. I feel like I should have returned the favor, and I never did. You slipped through my fingers and I did nothing about it. I know nobody else blames me, but I blame myself. Bruce took me to a therapist yesterday, which in reality was just Black Canary. He said, and I quote, "You can tell her everything."**_

 _ **Can I really? Can I really tell her everything? How am I supposed to tell her that I killed the person I trusted the most? The person I told everything too? Apparently, nobody thought that far. He expected me to walk in their and spill my guts to her, and then expected me to trust her not to tell him. Black Canary, therapist with a policy or not, will tell Batman things about his "children" if he wants to know them.**_

 _ **That's why I trusted you so much. You were a rebel like me. That's why I still trust you. That's why I stay awake until the early hours of the morning and pour my heart out to you. I trust you as much as I love you, and I love you more than anything. You are, and always will be my everything.**_

 _ **-All My Love, Sam January 15, 2015**_


	5. Chapter 5

Have you ever cried?

Like, a heart felt cry?

Or the silent kind?

Where you lungs can't get enough air?

Where you hold your stomach and try to be quiet?

Where you realize that everything you ever wanted is gone?

* * *

 _February 17, 2013_

 _They'd finally won. Here she stood, ready to let her worries slip away with her life. Her toes stuck out over the edge in her black converses, arms wrapped around herself as she stared at the ground all those feet below. She sucked in a quiet breath a leaned forward a little, letting her eyes fall shut._

 _"We can do this the easy way, or the hard way. I'd prefer the hard way." Her head snapped around to the sound of the voice, surprise written clear on her face. "Oh don't act so fucking surprised," The voice chided, and out of the shadows stepped Robin. "It was easy to find you. You've been standing there for a while now." She stepped back a little, only to lose her footing and squeal as she tumbled off the ledge. This wasn't what she wanted. Not anymore._

 _He followed her, grabbing her wrist and pulling her to his chest. She had to stop the pained hiss that would've followed his tight grip on her wrists, more than likely opening a few of her more fresh lacerations. He fired his grappling gun and swung them onto another roof. He pushed her away from him, a disturbed look on his face. "Are you trying to fucking die, you shit head?!" She flinched away from him, plastering a fake smile on her face._

 _"You fell for it!" She exclaimed, forcing a giggle to follow as she flipped off the roof and onto the next, running until she knew he couldn't find her. She slid down the wall and pressed a hand to her heart, the other against her wrist. Sure enough, her fingers came back with the dreaded red liquid on them. She sighed quietly and leaned back against the wall, her eyes sliding shut. That had just happened. She had just been saved by a swearing hero. And he was cute._

 _She blew a but of hair from her face and stood up again, making her way back to her apartment. She needed to rethink her life choices._

* * *

 ** _Dear Jason,  
_**

 ** _Hey. Uh, I had a dream about you. It was the first time we met. And can I just say, you swore_ a lot _. Like, all the time. I know how people always have a problem with that, but I found it hot. I found a lot of stuff you did hot. I went to a therapist yesterday, who also happens to be one of my best friends. I trust her not to tell Bruce anything. Even if he goes all Batman on her._  
**

 ** _Today is my birthday. I'm officially 16. While every other teenage girl is having a sweet 16, I'm sitting here in front of your grave and crying my face off. An honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way. I told you I'd spend my birthday with you, and I will. Bruce came into my room earlier today and tried to distract me with new gadgets and such. Is he stupid? I'm not just not going to spend the day with you because he's to afraid to face you._**

 ** _Dick dropped by a while ago and gave me a cupcake, and he put another one on top of your grave. Then he sat with us for a while, ate his, and left. I've been clean for 4 days now, ans surprisingly the voices haven't come back yet. Is that your doing? Did you make them stay away? Well, whatever it is, thank you. I've been so much happier these days, and I think its because you're here. I love you so much._**

 ** _-All My Love, Sam January 24, 2015_**


	6. Chapter 6

You know what's worse than crying?

Being so numb to the pain that you can't feel anything.

Laying in bed at night and just not feeling.

Listening to the voices in your head that scream at you.

They tell you to give up, to make the leap.

To hold the gun to your head and finally pull the trigger.

* * *

The night was quiet, her patrol uneventful. She'd stopped a few muggings and an attempted rape, but other than that she'd done nothing. She launched herself over the edge of a building, using her gymnastics skills to help propel he to the next one, and then she froze. Just as she had landed she heard the sound of the safety being removed from a gun.

She turned slowly and suppressed the shiver that threatened to shake her to her core when the cold feeling of metal pressed to her head. Behind the gun and attached to the hand holding it was a man in a red hood. She offered him a shaky smile and a quiet, "Hi." She could hear the sneer in his voice when he responded. "Don't 'hi' me Harley." She blinked at him in confusion before smiling again.

I mean, yes she had based her outfit off of Harley's, but Harley didn't have black hair. "Last time I checked, Harley didn't dye her hair black." She could tell he was surprised, but he didn't remove the gun. "That doesn't mean I'll let you go. You're still one of her people. _His_ people." She raised an eyebrow at him but remained silent, as if challenging him.

When his finger twitched she ducked out from in front of the gun, spinning behind him and pinning him to the ground with a knife at his neck. "And if you don't mind," she hissed venomously, pressing the knife down harder. "I'd like to be the one who presses the gone to my head."

And then she was gone. Jumping off the roof and grappling home as tears slid down her face. She didn't know why she had told him that. She'd never expressed to anyone that her suicidal thoughts were back. Something had just compelled her to tell him. Her heart wanted to tell him more, honestly it did, but her mind made her muscles move. "When will I finally be free?" She whispered, shuddering as the voices in her head whispered back, _"When you're dead."_

* * *

 ** _Dear Jason,_**

 ** _I hate this. My life. My mind. Everything. I was so close to dying tonight, so very close, and yet my body wouldn't let me. It made me go home. And I thought I was getting better but I'm not. You're haunting my thoughts again and I don't know what to do. Bruce is sending me to a mental hospital soon. He told me its what's best, when in reality its not._ **

**_He thinks they'll help me. They won't. All those places do is hop you up on drugs to keep you there and quiet, that way your family has to pay more. "Its for the best, Sam." He tells me. No, its actually not. Hasn't he learned anything from past experiences? I will do whatever it takes to get kicked out of that stupid facility. They can't keep me there._**

 ** _I tried to take my life a few nights ago. I failed, but I still tried. The little voices kept screaming at me, and then when I fell asleep I was dreaming of my parents. At least I think they were my parents. They didn't really have faces but they kept telling me how much of a failure I was soo...there's that I guess. I found one of your hoodies. Bruce got rid of all your clothes after you died but I found a black one that I think Alfred hid for me. I think that if it weren't for that man and Dick I'd probably be six feet under the ground. Just like you._**

 ** _I'm getting a little tired now, so I'm gonna end the letter. I'll try taking my sleeping meds tonight and see if they keep the nightmares away, even though I don't really think they will. Maybe I won't wake up tomorrow and I can finally see you again. Who knows?_**

 ** _-All My Love, Sam February 14, 2015  
_**

 ** _PS: Hey JayBi_** ** _rd. Uh, I found this letter when I came to check on Sam and I decided to leave you a note. I feel kind of stupid writing this but Sam seems pretty invested in it so I thought I'd give it a try. She's not doing too well. I'm not sure what she's told you because I won't read her letters, but she really isn't doing good. She thinks we can't see her breaking but we can. Bruce might not be able to see it but Alfred and I can. She has it bad for you._**

 ** _We've tried getting her professional help but she won't accept it. I don't want to force it on her but eventually we're going to have to. I've learned a lot from and about her. One thing is for sure, she knows a lot about hope, and she has a lot of it. She's a good kid Jason, and she loves you._**

 ** _-Dick_**


	7. Chapter 7

He held his hands out towards her as she pressed the gun to her temple, a dull look on her face. All light had left her blue eyes and her cheeks were hollow from lack of food. Her grip wasn't shaky in the slightest. She was serious about this. Batman, Nightwing, Red Robin and Robin all stood around the two, waiting for someone to make their move.

He slid his hood off to reveal his masked face and black and white hair, a desperate look resting on his features. "You don't need to do this, Rev." He hissed at her, voice taking on a pleading tone. She stared into his eyes with an intense gaze, and he could just make out the tears sparkling in the corners of her eyes.

"My name is Samantha Catherine Elliot." She whispered, her form beginning to shake. "Forgive me, for I have sinned."

And then she pulled the trigger. Her body fell to the ground and multiple cries rang through the air. Robin knelt beside her and turned her over, complete and utter horror written clear on his face. Red Hood moved to take her but Robin held her closer to him, staring at him in anger.

"Give her to him, Robin." Batman stated grimly, trying to hide how deeply this actually hurt him. Red Hood knelt before Robin and took her from his arms, tears sliding down from under his mask. "Oh god," he gasped, holding her tighter as a sob raked his body. "Not her. Please not her." He pressed his lips to hers in a desperate attempt to save her but nothing happened. He cried out in agony and rested his forehead against her neck, not even caring that people were watching him.

"Not you." He whimpered, barely registering the hand on his shoulder. He felt like a child. "Wake up." He was begging now. "You have to wake up." But she didn't. Her body grew steadily colder until there was no heat left, and then he just tried to give her his body heat. His ragged breathing echoed over the building as it began to rain and he whispered one final thing to her still body.

"My name is Jason Peter Todd, and I love you with all my heart."

Heh. **Am evil. Rawr. This is just a teaser thing I wrote while I waited for my best friend to text me back. None of this actually happens. Calm yourselves. Even if you didn't flip out, calm yourselves anyway. Fear me and my mystical author powers. *author noise***


	8. Chapter 8

Why do the fates seem to play against us?

Strumming the strings to a finely tuned guitar.

Playing the song of sadness and regret.

The song of torture and anger.

Moving you with their music and pulling at your heart strings.

Yet the music finds a way to fill your senses and soothe your raging mind.

* * *

April 18, 2015

A hiss of pain could be heard as she struggled, masked eyes scrunched in concentration. A hand grabbed her chin and forced her to look up at the face before her. "Scarecrow." She whispered, fists clenched and teeth grit together at the sight of his face. He smiled a sick smile at her, no words leaving his mouth and injected a glowing red liquid into the artery on her left wrist. He saw her scars and smiled brighter, glowing eyes meeting masked ones.

"My toxins will kill you before you can kill yourself." She sucked in a breath as her vision was overcome by a sheet of red, a shaky reply leaving her split lips. "I highly doubt that." She shut her eyes to block out the pain, only for it to intensify.

 _Black figures danced across her line of sight as feather light touches crawled up her arms. She shivered in pleasure before freezing, finally realizing who the touches came from. A yellowed grin shined down on her, making her cringe. "Hello Ace." The green haired man cooed, fingering a strand of her hair before giving it a harsh tug. She gasped and arched her back, tears springing to her eyes when she went something wet run down her scalp._

 _"Come on Ace." She could hear Harley encourage her from the shadows. "Say hi to uncle J." She found herself hissing a small 'no' and struggling against the restraints holding her to the chair. "What was that?" Joker asked quietly, sliding the knife inside her mouth. "I couldn't hear you." Her body shook with fear but she pushed on, not really caring at this point._

 _"No."_

 _An insane cackle followed by a scream came next, the scream turning into a gurgle. In a flash of light it was like a scene was playing, a scene of a horror movie. It was like she was outside of her body, looking down at her mangled corpse. Her fingers were missing, her knees were smashed along with her arms and torso, and there was a smile carved into her face. It was awful._

 _Three pairs of combat boots landed in the alley where her body was and she watched as the people she'd come to know as her family looked over her. A grin broke out on Robin's face and he turned to Batman. "Is she dead." Batman nodded, a small smile on his face. "Yes!" Robin exclaimed, fist bumping Nightwing before waltzing forward and kicking her dead body._

 _She felt a gun pressed to her temple and gasped, looking from the corner of her eyes and meeting blue-green eyes. "Jason." She whimpered, hating the way he was looking at her. "Now I can finally kill you." He hissed venomously. The trigger was pulled and she clenched her eyes shut, waiting for something to happen. Nothing did. Her eyes opened to meet concerned blue ones and she finally realized what happened._

* * *

Back arched off the table and a pitiful cry left her mouth, locking eyes with one of the people from her toxin induced delusion. A sob left her lips and he gathered her in his arms, trying his best to comfort her the way he knew he never could. She clung to him as tears left her closed eyes, mumbled curses and apologies leaving her lips. Tim stood off to the side with Bruce, watching something he never thought he'd see.

She was normally so strong, pushing through everything. And he'd seen the marks on her wrists when he found her, Dick had too. The older boy had held a finger to his lips, quickly going back to untying her. And now as he watched her break, he vowed he'd help her somehow. They were family. That's what family does.

* * *

 _ **Dear Jason,  
**_

 _ **I don't really have much to say. After today, I don't have much hope left that you still want me. I feel like I'm a burden, even though you're not here. Scarecrow messed with my mind today. He uh, he showed me things. I've come to the conclusion that you don't really love me anymore. Maybe you're sending me these dreams as a sign..? I'm not sure. I'll try not to write to you anymore. Just remember, I always love you. Happy two year Anniversary love. I know you broke up with me, but that doesn't mean I broke up with you.**_

 _ **-All My Love, Sam April 18, 2015**_


	9. Chapter 9

If you strayed from your path,

How far would you go to get back on it?

How many people would fall?

How many hearts would be broken?

How many friendships would be crushed?

How many dreams would become nightmares?

* * *

 _November 17, 2013  
_

 _She tumbled through her window and into her bedroom, tears streaking down her cheeks at a fast pace. Multiple sobs bubbled past her lips and she tried to shush them, stuttered hissed and whispers replacing her breath. She slammed open the door to her room and startled the boy that had been lounging in her living room. His head snapped to hers and upon the sight of her tear stained face he launched himself from the couch and wrapped his arms around her._

 _He cooed to her, threading his fingers through her hair and pulling her as close as possible. "What's wrong, beautiful?" She shook her head, burying her face further in his chest. "I'm so scared, Jason." She whimpered, gripping his shirt tightly in her hands. "Scared of what, baby?" He murmured, pressing his lips to her temple and trying to reassure her. "Of myself." She could imagine the confused look on his face, only making her cry harder. Prying herself from his grasp she slowly unzipped her jacket, revealing her upper body only being covered by a black sports bra._

 _And then she knew he understood. She watched his blue-green eyes flood with tears and soon overflow, making her feel even worse. He pulled her against him and began murmuring apologies. She glanced up at his face to see his eyes squeezed shut, guilt displayed on his beautiful features. She turned in his lap and pressed her hands against his cheeks, wiping his tears with her thumbs._

 _"No, sweetheart." She whispered, looking into his eyes as her tears dried up. "You've done nothing wrong, baby. Its not your fault." "But I feel like I should've noticed." he whispered back, hugging her to him and tucking his face in her neck. "That just means I hid things well, Mr. Batman's protegee." She felt him release a breathy laugh and she smiled, pressing a kiss to his hair. "Just promise me you'll never do it again." She hummed, debating whether or not to tell him she'd been clean since they started dating._

 _"As long as you promise to never let me go."_

 _"I promise."  
_

 _"I love you."_

 _"I love you too."_

* * *

 ** _Dear Jason,  
_**

 ** _I know I said I wouldn't write to you anymore, but its Christmas. The "facility" is letting me come home for the holidays. So, Merry Christmas Jason. Uh, Happy Birthday too. I wasn't allowed out of the mental institution to come drop off your present, so I'll do it later. I'm getting weak, Jason. All these months locked up in that place and I haven't worked out once. I can barely do a few push-ups without running out of breath._**

 ** _"You could hurt yourself." They told me, as they mixed my pills into my water like I was too idiotic to see it. Its not right. In fact, I'm leaving. I'm leaving the manor while Tim and Dick go out. Bruce is in space doing who knows what, possibly being dead, but meh. Dick has been looking after the manor and from what Tim's told me on visits, he's trying to get me out early._**

 ** _He didn't try hard enough. No one ever tries hard enough. I didn't try hard enough, Bruce didn't try hard enough. No one ever does. I might write to you again but I'm not sure. I still feel like you don't want to hear about my problems. But whatever._**

 ** _All My Love, Sam -December 25, 2015_**

* * *

Little did she know, that dull eyes were brightened again at the sight of the letter taped to his grave.


	10. Chapter 10

If you could have one power,

What would it be?

Would you ask for flight?

For super senses?

For echo location?

For time travel?

* * *

February 28, 2016

He swung across the rooftops, curses leaving his lips. This wasn't what he wanted. She was supposed to get over him. She was supposed to move on so he could too. "Ace!" He cursed his voice for sounding so desperate but didn't cease his search, checking in windows and alleys alike. He'd finally had the guts to open all those letters addressed to him, and he hadn't expected _her_ to be the one leaving them.

He'd gone to the manor almost immediately, sneaking around the cameras he knew were there. He'd jumped through her window, feling his heart stutter when she wasn't there. He checked her closet and bathroom, but found nothing. She really had left. Her closet was slightly empty, pictures missing around her room. If he didn't know her like he did, he wouldn't have noticed anything.

Snatching one of her hoodies and a picture, he jumped through her window and ran across the lawn, scaling the wall and heading out to search. He tucked the items into his bag and commenced his search, leading him to where he was now. "SAM!" He screamed in one final desperate cry, but he received nothing in return. She was gone. With crushed hopes he made his way to the one place he knew she might be, mood lightening at the sight of the crisp white envelope resting on the stone.

He could feel himself get angry as he read it. He slid his helmet off in order to run a tired hand through his hair. Why couldn't anything ever just go his way? He folded the paper that still smelled like her and slid it into his pocket, making his way home to put it with the others. No matter what, he would find her. Even if it meant traveling the globe, he'd do it. If there was anything he wanted more than revenge, was her.

* * *

 _ **Dear Jason,**_

 _ **I did it. I left. I'm somewhere new now, where people can't send me away. Dick doesn't have to try and get me out early because I already left. I have the biggest smile on my face right now. This is probably the happiest I've been in a while. It still surprises me that I was able to make it this far without you, its insane. And Jason, I hate you. You put me through so much pain. All these craving and throwing up for 6 months before you gave me one huge moment of pain and sadness. You got me pregnant, you asshole.**_

 _ **I never thought I'd write that to you. But with me leaving and starting a new life, I felt like I had to. In order for me to move on I had to tell you. I also have to tell you she didn't make it. Jacklyn Megan Todd. That's what I named her. Due to my depression and problems with anorexia, she suffered. We both did. I finally had a little piece of you and then it was gone again.**_ **You** _ **were gone.**_

 _ **I buried her on my own, in the woods. She didn't seem like the kind of baby that would want to be buried in a proper graveyard. The way she kicked and squirmed at night, keeping me up and smiling. She was a ray of light in my deep dark hole. I'll see her again one day though. I'll see both of my beautiful babies. I love you.**_

 _ **-All My Love, Sam January 30, 2016**_


	11. Chapter 11

How long would you wait,

To see the person you loved?

Days?

Months?

Years?

Would your feelings remain the same?

* * *

 _ **Dear Jason, February 14, 2016**_

 _ **Dear Jason, March 21, 2016**_

 _ **Dear Jason, April 18, 2016**_

 _ **Dear Jason, May 7, 2016**_

 _ **Dear Jason, January 24, 2017**_

* * *

November 30, 2017

That's where they stopped. After her birthday, there were no more letters. He'd gone to Bruce for help, dropping all hope of revenge because this girl wouldn't get out of his head. She kept him awake at night, searching with Tim to find her. Bruce's biological son, Damian, wasn't helping either. He was constantly bothering them, asking about why she was so important.

Take now for an example. He and Dick were working at the computer, Tim and Bruce out patrolling, and Damian was criticizing them every chance he had. Jason was getting frustrated. He slammed his hands down as Damian commented on her again, but stopped almost immediately after. "What did you say?" The youngest raised an eyebrow but repeated himself anyway. "All of the letters were dropped off on the last day of the month. How stupid do you have to be to not see that?"

And then Jason did the unexpected.

He grabbed Damian's face and kissed his forehead before sprinting up the stairs and out of the cave. Dick laughed loudly at the sight of the youngest's face, holding his stomach and doubling over. Damian scrubbed his face until stung, the most disgusted expression he could muster resting on his features.

"We do not speak of this."

* * *

He ran as fast as his legs could carry him, not even bothering to think about taking a bike to make it there faster. His breathing was becoming labored but he still pushed on, determined to get there before she left. He might already be too late. He might have to wait hours. He didn't care. All he wanted was the girl who made him blush like no one else could.

He slammed through the gates of the cemetery, legs carrying him to his grave. He felt happiness bubble in his chest as soon as he saw the head of blonde hair the was bent over his "resting place". But then his happiness faltered. Didn't she dye her hair black? He came to a stop a few feet behind her and all of his doubt melted away as she turned around. Light blue eyes met his blue-green ones and a smile identical to her spread on his face.

A single envelope rested upon the stone, and he could make out the crisp black words scribbled on it.

 ** _I'm coming home._**


	12. Chapter 12

Happiness is but a word.

A word that describes other words.

You cannot have happiness without sadness.

Happiness can come in different ways.

Sadness can come in different ways.

But one day, we'll learn to accept them all.

* * *

Arms slipped around her waist and she turned her head slightly, smiling when lips were pressed to hers. The two turned back to watch as the small child climbed over her 12 year old uncle, a smile on their faces. The little boy grabbed Damian's nose with his chubby hands, making the older boy smile. Their life had turned out fairly well. The couple watched the little scene with similar expressions, emotions that only a parent could feel coursing through their veins.

Glancing away from the two children, she noticed a similar expression resting on the face of the baby's grandfather. The two locked eyes and she smiled at him, receiving a nod in return. On another couch sat Dick and Life, a smile on both of their faces as they watched the two youngest on the floor. Tim sat on another couch with his niece in his lap, a smile identical to everyone else's on his face as he cooed to her.

With a small grin she went and took her son from Damian, taking pleasure in the pout that took over his face as he watched his small play mate get taken away. Jason did the same with his little girl and shot Tim a smirk, turning on his heel to follow his wife. They set the babies into their little backpacks and slipped them on, trekking into the woods afterwards.

They arrived in the well known clearing and took the two out of their packs, setting them in the grass near the grave. Sam slid her fingers into Jason's and set the letter on the grave, watching as the babies patted the stone with their tiny hands. The couple locked lips for a second before turning back and watching their family interact.

They were finally happy.

* * *

 ** _Dear Jacklyn,_**

 ** _Today, your siblings turned 1. Evelyn and Evan. You would have been a great big sister for these two, I can just feel it. Daddy says hi and that he loves you, and that he's proud of you for watching over us like a big girl. I'm much better now. Daddy helped make sure I took my medicine, and he wouldn't let Grampa Bruce send me back to that asylum._**

 ** _Uncle Dick finally got married. I think Life has a bun in the oven, but I'm not to sure. She's being very secretive. Uncle Tim loves your sister, and I have a feeling he would've loved you even more. He treats her like she's a princess, and I wouldn't be surprised if she develops a crush on him by the time she can walk. Daddy's not gonna like that at all._**

 ** _Uncle Damian is more open now. When your siblings first came around he was cautious, but look at him now. Every single time we come back to the manor he's asking to hold Evan, or to play with him. Its so good to see the one antisocial boy so happy. Both Evelyn and Evan have met his mom on his request, but we left pretty quickly when she tried to steal your sister. Yeah. Daddy didn't care what they'd done for him after that._**

 ** _Evelyn likes it when we say your name. Daddy mentioned you one day and the smile that grew on her face was amazing. She loves it when we talk about you, or when I tell her stories. Evan cries when we talk about you. I think he knows he'll never get to meet you. Daddy always tells him that its okay and that you're watching over us, and then Evan's happy again._**

 ** _We Love You Jacklyn, Mommy & Daddy -February 5, 2020_**


	13. Chapter 13: Bonus

Love is something everyone should have.

Whether it be from a parent,

A sibling,

An animal,

Everyone should have it.

Sometimes its just hard to find.

* * *

October 29, 2018

Her hands shook as the bouquet was placed in her hands, blue eyes full of fear. "I can't do this, Life." She whispered, locking eyes with the older girl. The magician simply smiled, placing the veil over the younger's eyes. "Sure you can. After all, you can't keep Jason waiting." "But-" "Shush. Make me some cute kids." _"Life!"_ The magician left to go take her seat beside Dick, laughing as she went.

Bruce entered the little room, a smile on his face as soon as he saw her. He brought her into a tight embrace before looping his arm with her own. "Are you ready to go?" She breathed in and nodded, a smile growing on her face. "I'm going to tell you the same thing I told Jason. If you hurt him, I will hurt you." She snickered, looking out the window to the wedding. They were having it outside, upon her request.

"Is it weird that we more or less have the same dad, but we're getting married?"

"Are you questioning me?"

"No, I am question how you don't have gray hairs yet."

"I'm Batman."

"I figured."

He led her down the aisle before handing her off to Jason, who was smiling as big as she was.

"You look beautiful."

"I know."

"Shut up, its starting."

"You're the one talking there Mister Groom."

"Well Miss Bride-"

The priest cleared his throat and gave both of them disapproving looks, but there was still amusement glittering in his eyes.

"Sorry Alfred."

* * *

The church erupted in cheers as the couple locked lips, Sam keeping it in the back of her mind to make sure this didn't get too heated. Jason didn't really seem to mind though, and instead let his hand travel lower down her torso. She pulled out of his arms, a small playful glare on her face. Turning around she caught the red eyes she knew all too well and smile took over her face. He had decided to come. On his arm was Zatanna, making her smile even larger.

The newly wed couple spun around the clearing, shoes somewhere in the little house they were renting. Other couples danced around them, and when the song ended, Sam broke away from Jason so he could go talk to his brothers. She passed by Damian and ruffled his hair, pressing a kiss to the top of his head as she went. "Elliot." He muttered, but she could hear the affection behind it. He was a sweet kid.

Finally finding the person she was looking for, she practically tackled him in a hug. "So the evil witch boy finally got his princess in a top hat?" He shoved her, glaring. "Shut up." She smiled at him, Life soon joining her and Zatanna taking his side. "Admit it Klarion. You've gone soft." Before he could retort, Zatanna locked her lips with his. Life and Sam both laughed and moved away to talk somewhere else.

"You better take care of Jason, Sam. He needs someone like you." The blonde smiled, a small giggle leaving her lips. "I will. I don't intend to leave him alone anytime soon." The older girl nodded and then a smirk formed on her face. "About those kids..." _"Life!"_

* * *

 _ **Dear Jacklyn,**_

 _ **You have a new sibling. A little girl by the name of Gina Victoria Todd. She's loud, that one. We only brought her home yesterday and she won't stop screaming. But she's my baby girl, and I'm stuck with her. Evan and Evelyn don't really know what to do with her. Those two were such a handful as babies, and they couldn't be more calm now. At least, they're calm until they see Uncle Tim and Uncle Damian.**_

 _ **Aunt Life loves your little sister. She told me, "Thank you for making me children." And it made me laugh. I love your Aunt, I really do. In other news, Daddy and I are back to fighting crime. At least we were. Gina doesn't exactly give us much time to do anything besides feed her. She's insane, that one. I swear it.**_

 _ **I don't really have much else to tell you. We love you Jackie."**_

 _ **All Our Love, Mommy & Daddy -August 20, 2023**_

* * *

This chapter was inspired by a very good internet friend of mine, **PrettyKitty Luvs U**. She also let me borrow her character **Life** for this chapter and the last one. She requested this, and I fulfilled it :3


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